Mood: Slightly unhinged
Location: Scattered across the floor of my own expectations
Mental State: Loading… 99% complete (estimated time: infinity)

The Incident

So, today was a thing. I downloaded a meditation app. The narrator had such a calming voice that I fell asleep and dreamt I was being chased by a giant, sentient clock.

I stood there for a long time, just taking it in. The realization that I am an adult who is allegedly in charge of things is the most recurring nightmare I have.

The Spiral

The theme of the week is Memory Hoarding.

I’m experiencing a ‘gray out’. Usually, people have a ‘glow up’, but I’m just becoming a background character in my own life. A very sad European film with no subtitles.

It sounds like a choice, doesn’t it? Like I sat down with a planner and some gel pens and decided to lean into the chaos. But it’s not. It’s an accumulation of every ‘it’s fine’.

The Aftermath

I’m currently debating whether to answer the door or just pretend I’ve been dead for three days. The delivery driver sounds like they mean business.

Mood update: I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least.