Mood: Slightly unhinged
Location: Scattered across the floor of my own expectations
Mental State: Loading… 99% complete (estimated time: infinity)

The Incident

So, today was a thing. I stood in the ‘International’ aisle of the supermarket for twenty minutes just to feel like I was traveling. I left with a can of water chestnuts I don’t know how to open.

I stood there for a long time, just taking it in. The realization that I am an adult who is allegedly in charge of things is the most recurring nightmare I have.

The Spiral

The theme of the week is Canceling Plans at the Last Minute.

Everything is a ‘subscription’ now. My gym, my music, my software. I’m waiting for the ‘Happiness Pro’ tier, but I suspect it’s just a 7-day free trial that leads to a bill.

I find myself thinking about the version of me I thought I’d be. She had matching luggage and a favorite brand of olive oil. We’re not even the same species anymore.

The Aftermath

It’s enough for one-sixteenth of a therapy session. Maybe I’ll just ask the barista for advice. They’re usually just as tired as I am.

I’m going to eat a family-sized bag of frozen peas and call it ‘meal prep’. Tomorrow is a new day, which is the worst thing about it.

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Mood update: I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least.