Mood: Slightly unhinged
Location: Scattered across the floor of my own expectations
Mental State: Loading… 99% complete (estimated time: infinity)

The Incident

So, today was a thing. My Spotify Wrapped told me I was in the top 1% of listeners for ‘Ambient Rainy Sounds’. Even my algorithm knows I’m just trying to drown out the sound of my own existence.

I stood there for a long time, just taking it in. The realization that I am an adult who is allegedly in charge of things is the most recurring nightmare I have.

The Spiral

The theme of the week is The Silent Treatment.

I read an article about ‘optimized sleep cycles’. Apparently, if I sleep in 90-minute increments while wearing a special hat, I’ll be a genius. I just feel like a tired person in a hat.

Happiness is a marketing strategy designed to make you feel bad for not being on a beach in a linen shirt. I’m currently on a couch in a t-shirt with a mystery stain.

The Aftermath

I’m currently trying to decide if I should face the music or just turn the music up until I can’t hear my own thoughts. Option B is currently winning by a landslide.

I’m writing this under a blanket fort I built to hide from my landlord’s email. It’s not a permanent solution, but the acoustics are great for whispering ‘why’.

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Mood update: I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least.