Mood: Slightly unhinged
Location: Scattered across the floor of my own expectations
Mental State: Loading… 99% complete (estimated time: infinity)

The Incident

So, today was a thing. I woke up with a crick in my neck that suggests I slept at a 90-degree angle to reality. I spent the day turning my whole body like a very sad robot.

I stood there for a long time, just taking it in. The realization that I am an adult who is allegedly in charge of things is the most recurring nightmare I have.

The Spiral

The theme of the week is Dining Alone (in Public).

It sounds like a choice, doesn’t it? Like I sat down with a planner and some gel pens and decided to lean into the chaos. But it’s not. It’s an accumulation of every ‘it’s fine’.

I’m experiencing a ‘gray out’. Usually, people have a ‘glow up’, but I’m just becoming a background character in my own life. A very sad European film with no subtitles.

The Aftermath

If you see me in public, no you didn’t. I’m currently a figment of my own imagination and I’d like to keep it that way for the foreseeable future.

I’m currently trying to decide if I should face the music or just turn the music up until I can’t hear my own thoughts. Option B is currently winning by a landslide.

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Mood update: I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least.