Mood: Slightly unhinged
Location: Scattered across the floor of my own expectations
Mental State: Loading… 99% complete (estimated time: infinity)

The Incident

So, today was a thing. I bought a self-help book about ‘Living in the Now’ and it’s currently being used as a coaster for a cold cup of coffee. The irony is the only thing keeping me warm.

I stood there for a long time, just taking it in. The realization that I am an adult who is allegedly in charge of things is the most recurring nightmare I have.

The Spiral

The theme of the week is Office Politics Failure.

I remember when I had hobbies. Now my hobby is ‘scrolling until my thumb hurts’. I’m an athlete of the attention economy, and I’m losing every single game.

They told us to ‘follow our passions’ but neglected to mention that passion doesn’t pay for health insurance. Now I’m just passionate about lying down in a dark room.

The Aftermath

I’m going to watch a documentary about deep-sea creatures because at least they have a good excuse for being under a lot of pressure.

I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least. I’m going to stare at a spider on the ceiling and call it ‘meditation’.

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Mood update: I’ve decided to be at peace with my own destruction. For the next hour, at least.